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  • Writer's picturePaul D. Zinn, Jr.

What is the perfect Date?


Here are a few answers I gave to some silly questions that facebook recently asked me in their little "Answer a Question" applet.

Question: Between Chocolate and vanilla I prefer: My answer: Strawberry ... think about it.

Question: Between earth, fire, air and water, the element I identify most with is... My answer: SURPRISE!!!

Question: A good way to stay in shape is? My answer: Make a cube, sleep in the cube.

Question: I don't like when... My answer: ...I like now!

Question: "I could always eat..." My answer: True!

But there was a question that struck a chord with me that demanded my attention. Something I believe strongly and do not take lightly.


I know how all of my Gen X and early millennial brothers and sisters would answer this: "I'd have to say April 25th, because it's not too hot, and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket."

This question, in my engineer's brain, at first, irritated me. I mean, "the perfect date" IS SUBJECTIVE! it's illusive... It certainly seems like vein romantic thinking... But, I know for a fact, if you want to have a perfect date. You're going to have to take responsibility for making it happen (Speaking to my guy friends here).

Okay, rant's over. Here below I am going to talk about a perfect date that can be planned by you, this is in the context of a dating relationship that has been going well for some time. Now it's time to step up your game.


  1. You are creative, thoughtful, and you have more than half of a brain. PLEASE for your own sake, don't just ask her where she wants to eat. That is a terrible plan. Wait... it's not a plan... it's lazy. And you're not lazy!

  2. A date is not JUST eating somewhere. A date is an experience with the purpose of getting to know another person. That could be as simple as going to the bank together (looking at you CFNI dates) or as extravagant as a day adventuring through the Okavango Delta. The point is, take responsibility for creating a fun and peaceful experience where y'all can get to know each other!

  3. You have a superpower... YOU CAN CREATE PEACE! So, now that you know that DON'T LET ANYTHING GET AWKWARD! The key is to be comfortable in your own skin, and from that place, now create peace. That's the key: MAKE PEACE. in other words, create a peaceful experience where both of you can feel comfortable. Now, all that being said, Hoards of awkwardness will try to assail you... She might be awkward, your waiter might be awkward, something awkward might happen like your restaurant is closed for renovations ... DANG IT YOU MIGHT (And probably will) BE AWKWARD!!! Just remember your superpower. Create PEACE!

"I heard chivalry was dead. I think it just has a bad flu." Meg Ryan

...Or perhaps it's more like it's undergoing a zombie apocalypse right now, but we can be the remnant of the immune and rebuild a chivalrous society together!


  1. Way before you ask her out, pay attention to your city's cool places and see what it has to offer... JUST OPEN YOUR EYES... And yelp... and your sense of curious wonder. And get to know some folks who know the city better than you and ask for help. Now learn about cool things to do that tip YOUR (yes your) fancy, create a list/spreadsheet with all of those options (you'll forget them otherwise).

  2. Now that you have a pool of options to pull from, come up with 2 YES two major date options that y'all can pick from (AND have a few wild cards that are really easy to pull off that y'all can fall back on if Plan A & B fall through) Think of places that both you (yes you) and your girl (that's right not just you) would enjoy, Think of what she might like. Give her the right of way, but have an opinion. Think of your budget but try to push your budget on the first date. (the balancing of a budget will be very attractive to the right kind of gal). NOW that you have a Plan A, Plan B, and a few wild cards it's time to ask her out.

  3. Now when you ask her out don't give her the whole list of date options and have her choose. Ask her only about plan A as though it was the only thing you had. Keep the other options in your hand to pull from later. Here is how that could sound: Hey *name of your gal* (or darling if you're southern like me) How would you like to go to (this is Plan A) with me? Now, chances are if you did a good job planning, Plan A will be the winner! Good job! You kid's go have a good time! BUT!!! The awkwardness will find you and try to assail you believe me. Something unexpected can and most likely will happen. That's the beauty of Plan B (and the wild cards). You see if plan A falls through and you don't have a plan B awkwardness will pour into the car like non-Newtonian Oobleck pouring out of the A/C vents. BUT (and this is the really cool part) IF YOU HAVE A PLAN B, then plan B will be amazing AND Plan A will count as bonus Adventure points. Congratulations! Now GO make your next date a perfect date!

Bonus material: I - Everything I said above is only a structure that you can choose from, be creative and don't follow it like rules. look at it like good strong suggestions. II - If you're not married, don't have sex with her. III - I dare y'all not to kiss until you get married. IV - If that gal is worth going on dates with without sex and kissing. Marry her, keep dating her. also, make out with her, have sex with her, and keep doing that for the rest of your life.

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